Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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