Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
