like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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