no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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