its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
