It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
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