piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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