WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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