i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
