she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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