Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
