Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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