My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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