i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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