Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
