Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
