I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
