Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
