awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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