What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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