He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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