Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
