in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
