I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
