there was a trapeze. enough said
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
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At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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