I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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