I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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