i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
