My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
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Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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