Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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