Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
