I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
