My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
