I heard we made out
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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