It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
