are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
zippers are such a cool invention
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
