Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
