pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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