dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
