Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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