i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
