Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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