Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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