have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
