Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
