will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
