around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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