Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
