There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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