I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
