I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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