I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
they need to just BURY HIM!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
