something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize