on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
