I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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