i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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