its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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