I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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