to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
