why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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