There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
