how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
