K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
