I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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